Identity

I learned the art of changing at Nkrumah, a skill that would later become second
nature to me. Maybe I was always good at it. Maybe it was a skill I had
inherited from my mother, or my father, or my aunt Dot, or my Nana, the was some
people inherit a talent for music or art or mathematics. Even before Nkrumah,
Cole and I had gotten a thrill out of changing--spending our days dressed in old
costumes, pretending to be queens of our make-believe nation. But only at
Nkrumah did it become more than a game. There I learned how to do it for
real--how to become someone else, how to erase the person I was before (pg. 62).

In the first part of Caucasia, identity seems to play a crucial role in the lives of Cole and Birdie, especially Birdie. As illustrated in this quote, Birdie changed who she was, so she could fit into her new school (which happens to be all black--and she looks white). It seems to me that Birdie is reaching the stage where she no longer has her own identity. Her identity, instead, is determined by the people around her and how she can fit in. She wears this mask over who she really is, making it hard to get a feel for what she is actually like--insecure. Birdie cares so much about what other people think that she doesn't stay true to herself.

The sad part is that as she changes on the outside to hide who she really is on the inside, who she is on the inside actually changes. "But I [Birdie] did feel different--more conscious of my body as a toy, and of the ways I could use it to disappear into the world around me." She is becoming even more insecure because she had temporary gratification of fitting in to the world around her. It's like she has this temporary high from changing her look that she does it over and over again to get that same feeling back. It seems to me though that Birdie learns this way of life from Cole.

Cole was the first one to start changing when both girls started attending Nkrumah. She altered her habits, looks, and actions to become like the popular girls. Birdie simply followed her example, so she (Birdie) "lose her [Cole] for good." Even the mother recognizes the problem with changing who you are and what you look like to fit in with other people. In her words, it is "the end of freedom."

"The end of freedom." The end of their ability to be themselves. Once they change for one group of people, they have to continually keep that change up, so no one knows who they really are. They get caught up in a web and eventually change permanently. If only they didn't feel that they had to change to fit in. Kids can be so vicious sometimes.